Love Has No Rules (Gakupo x Kaito)
by CupCakeFanFics
Summary: Kaito is a young man who has a big secret; he is in love with a man who is not just a lot older than he is, but also a well known celebrity. (Gakupo x Kaito/GakuKai/Yaoi warning)
1. Chapter 1

Hello! So, I've been obsessed with GakuKai (for the second time) lately. I've tried to write a lot of fanfictions about them in the past but I've never finished any of those. But I decided to give this story a go. Hopefully there is some Vocaloid/GakuKai fans out here who happen to stumble upon this story :)

This is a yaoi fanfiction (boy x boy)

I do NOT own the characters. They are Vocaloids. Vocaloids do not have any set personalities so this is just my view of them (chosen for this specific story)

(I don't think it's necessary for me to tell this here but I'll say it anyways. This story is told from Kaito's POV)

Please enjoy reading! (Also please note that any weird sentences or spelling mistakes are due to the fact that my native language is not English.)

* * *

I could not look at my parents in their eyes that night.

I came home quite late, but they did not say anything. They trusted me with a lot of things, and gave me the freedom to come home late on Fridays.. if I came home before midnight. It was around eleven, maybe a little past it, when I opened the front door and stepped in. My mom greeted me happily from the kitchen, she was still baking my birthday cake there. She asked how I was doing and if I had fun.

I just took off my scarf and coat and quietly said "yes", hoping that my voice wouldn't crack too much. I walked upstairs to the bathroom and turned the shower on, throwing the rest of my clothes down on the floor. I walked under the warm water, closed my eyes and let the water fall down on my face, warming it up after walking for so long in the cold winter.  
My arms were shaking slightly. I didn't know how I should feel. Should I be happy... or scared? I didn't know. And I wanted to decide it by myself. I didn't want anyone else to know about this... To know about what I did.

I walked out of the shower, straight into my room to change into my pyjama. Then I walked downstairs and got something to eat.

Mom had finished making the cake and was now sitting beside my father in the livingroom. They were watching TV, my dad's arm around my mother's shoulders in a protective way.

I took some bread from the fridge and walked back upstairs into my room, trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake my younger sister.

I took small bites off the bread sitting on my bed, thinking about the evening.  
The only things I could really recall were the smell of sweat and passion, the feeling of bare skin against bare skin, the sounds of our breaths and moans... But it was all a little blurry.

I was afraid. I should've been happy. But I was afraid that someone got to know about it...  
It wouldn't have been so bad if I had had a girlfriend for a while and did it with her, us both thinking about it for a while and being responsible and ready for the consequences. I could have probably been able to talk with my parents about our plan to do it, or at least I could have told them now that I did it... I lost my virginity... on my last day of being 17 years old.

But no, it was more complicated. Yes, we have known each other for a while. I don't even remember exactly when was the first time we met and how we even met... All I remember is that I was 16 at the time. But it's not the problem that we've known each other for like a year, heck, that is actually quite a long time! No. The problem here is, that I lost my virginity with another man. With a man who is over ten years older than I am. To be exact, he is currently 31 years old.  
I just don't know how I'll be able to tell this to my parents. I've been secretly dating him for a long time, always telling my parents that I'll be with my friends when I actually went to see him. He is kind, and gentle. He is exactly the type of guy I want. Really. He is perfect. But I am still afraid. I'm afraid because I know my parents would never accept it.

And if someone figures out our relationship, then it isn't going to be long before everyone knows. Because he is a big star, an amazing singer, always in the magazines in one way or another. He is basically the daydream of every girl.  
I felt a tear run down my cheek. I was so happy. I was so happy that I had him, I was happy that he cared about me!

But the happiness was overpowered by the fear.

And my virginity... I gave it to him.

Now that it started to struck me that I really did give my virginity to him I also started to think about other things. He was good. It was obvious he had done it a few times in his life, he was over 30 for god's sake! But he had mentioned something about me being the first guy he had ever slept with. It made me feel honoured in some way, but at the same time I was wondering why. Why did he choose me out of all people? Me?

And I started to get anxious. I started to fear that now he is going to leave me... maybe I'm just one of his playthings. I've heard somewhere that sometimes big stars like him can satisfy themselves by fulfilling a desperate fan's fantasies. So basically sleep with them and then leave them. Maybe I'm just one of those? But how.. we've been together for a year!

But.. what if he has other relationships too?

How many girls has he slept with?

Does he really care about me?

Did I really think this through?

I finished the bread, tangled deep in my thoughts that were completely going off the rail.  
I snapped out of it when my door opened.

"Are you going to sleep soon?" My mom asked.

"Yes. Actually I was supposed to go now. Good night!" I smiled at her and got up from my bed and crawled back, this time under the blanket.

"Good night, sweetie."

As I closed my eyes I felt faint memories of his gentle touches all over me. His lips on mine, then on my neck and stomach... that deep kiss he gave me as he was slowly pushing his way inside of me...


	2. Chapter 2

I'm one of the few guys who really enjoy his music. Most of his fanbase is young girls, squealing over his handsome face and deep voice. It's really rare to see guys other than myself at any event he's in.

I had never told anyone that I knew him personally. I had just kinda thought that it would be best if I kept it a secret.  
And now my whole family had gathered at the big stadium where he was having a concert. It was my 18th birthday, and my older brothers Akaito and Taito, 25 and 22 years, had come back home to celebrate with us. Akaito had been really kind and bought me tickets to the concert, because I told him that I had no money to buy the tickets myself. And he had bought tickets for us all, my dad, my mom, himself, Taito, and even our little sister Kaiko. We were standing in the line, surrounded by screaming girls.  
Taito didn't really look happy. He didn't like crowded places. Also he didn't really like the concert we were going to.

"What a waste of time..." he had sighed when Akaito gave him the ticket.

"You're coming. It's Kaito's birthday present!" Akaito had growled at him.

My mom was asking a lot of guestions about the music and the singer himself. She looked like a big red question mark when we got inside and she saw a huge poster in which a tall man was standing, his extremely long purple hair tied on a high ponytail.  
I heard the fangirls behind me squeal, and I heard some whispers like "I wonder what he is like" "I wish I knew him".  
We got to our seats and waited for all the screaming girls to get into theirs. Then we listened to the warm up band. As they finished and everyone had applauded them off the stage the crowd got silent and just waited for the star himself.

When he finally came on the stage my mother leaned towards me and asked: "What was his name again?"

"Gakupo." I said and stared at him, his tall and slim figure walking over to the microphone, his long, soft, purple locs swinging ever so slightly from side to side in sync with his steps.

"He's hot." My sister Kaiko giggled next to me. I looked at her. She hadn't really ever said anything like that about anyone, this was the first time I heard her admitting something like that.

Taito was the one to pick upon that first, he leaned forward and looked at her, grinning widely.

"Wow, you're finally deciding to be a normal 16 year old?"

"What do you mean?" She said, annoyed.

"You have never said that any guy you see is hot before."

"And what the fuck does that matter?" She was irritated.

I had completely forgotten how annoying these two were. They were arguing about everything all the time, so much that even the overly positive Akaito had snapped at them atleast twice before moving out.

"Kaiko, Taito... can you please stop?" Akaito said from beside my father who sat next to my mother. He sounded annoyed and looked past me at the two. Kaiko stuck her tongue out at Taito and then nodded at Akaito on the other side of our little row.

Taito opened his mouth to say something at her but stayed quiet when Gakupo started singing, his beautiful voice echoing around, making everyone shut up and listen to him.

His voice wrapped us all up into it's own world.

He ended the song and right away begun the next one. It wasn't one of his own songs, he had a tradition of singing atleast one song made by someone else. As I heard the first notes my heart jumped into my throat and I... honestly... nearly started crying. He sang this exact song to me the previous evening when we... we...

The embarracement struck me like lightning and I felt my cheeks turning red. I tried to sit as if nothing happened, but my mind was going all over the place. His soft singing turning into the soft moans that escaped his lips, and images of his naked body flashing before my eyes. I had almost completely forgotten about it in the horrible chaos that we had this morning.

"Hikiyosete magunetto no you ni

Tatoe itsuka hanarete mo meguriau

Furete ite modorenakute ii

Sore de ii no dare yori mo taisetsu na anata"

His voice slowly faded away as the song ended. I felt my face burning as I remembered the way he had whispered "anata" into my ear, softly, and so lovingly that it almost melted my heart to that place.

I was so embarraced, I could just feel my whole body tense up and my skin getting hotter and hotter. My breathing got faster and my heart was bounding as fast as a race horse runs. I hoped no-one heard it. Please tell me no-one noticed my sudden redness. Pleade make it that no-one notices it...

My mother was looking at the man singing so stricktly that she noticed nothing, but Kaiko turned her head slightly towards me. She looked at me, saw my red cheeks and leaned closer to me.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly.

"N-nothing." I said and cursed my sudden embarracement and the fucking idiot that was Gakupo, why did he have to sing this exact song to me yesterday? Why?

Kaiko rolled he eyes and continued watching the show.

Apparently Gakupo was having an autograph session after the show. Akaito practically dragged me there, saying how this would probably be the only chance I ever had to meet him. I chuckled quietly in my mind. If he just new what I had been doing with him the previous evening..

Kaiko and Taito were also in the line with me and Akaito, me and my two brothers being the only guys in there. All the girls were freaking out around us. Kaiko rolled her eyes frustrated.

When we walked through a door into a big room I could see his tall figure standing above everyone else, smiling and signing posters. To me his smile looked forced. It wasn't the genuine happy smile he had when he was with me.

The line moved painfully slow, and he was starting to switch his weight between his feet more often as time passed. It was probably really tiring to be here, after just having a two hour concert.

He gazed around the room from time to time. We were getting closer to him, Taito yawning and Kaiko just staring forward looking like she was just about to fall asleep. Akaito was super exited next to me as the line moved ever so slightly.

Gakupo gazed around the room again before greeting the next girl. His eyes met mine and I saw his face getting more lively when he saw me. Then he quickly looked beside me, looking at the people I was with, and then continued what he was doing.

Finally after the long wait we reached him.

He smiled and greeted me. "Hello, it's nice to see some guys in line for a chance!" He let out a little laugh.

Akaito wrapped his arm around my shoulder, being the overly exited, slightly annoying and stupid big brother he was and said: "it's my little brother's birthday today, so I wanted to bring him here since he's a really big fan of yours!"

I just smiled.

Gakupo smiled back and singned another poster giving it to me. "Happy birthday, then!" He said.

"Thank you!" I said, feeling a really small blush sneaking up on my cheeks. I wanted to talk to him more but everyone behind us were getting louder. Gakupo seemed hesitant when we started walking away. I think he too had the urge to grab me into a hug and kiss me, but in front of every single one of these people... no.

We walked away and when we got outside Akaito started to tell me how awesome it was that I finally met my idol. I just thought how it had been kind of akward, meeting him with my brother, the day after having ...sex... with him...

My mom and dad were basically sleeping in the car, waiting for us. They woke up when we opened the doors and rushed in, Akaito telling them right away how awesome it had been that we met Gakupo, and me just akwardly sitting there, despretly trying to think what I would say and how I would act if I had no relationship with Gakupo, if I was just a regular fan. I tried to sound a convincing as I could: "It was amazing! He seemed so nice and positive even with all those people around! I'm really glad I'm his fan, he is so nice."

...

When we got home and sat down at the table to eat some cake I got a message. My phone beeped on the table in front of me and the screen got illuminated. I grabbed it as fast as I could when I noticed the first letter of the name on the screen.

'G'.

Kaiko sat next to me and looked at me.

I opened the message.

''Hey, I'm sorry I'm sending you this, you're probably having fun and partying, but I just wanted to ask if we could meet somewhere, I'd like to properly say happy birthday to you. :)''

"Um... Yuma just asked if I could meet him in town, he wanted to go and get some coffee with me since it's my birthday and all..." I said.

"Oh, sure, just eat your cake first!" My mother said. She was always so kind inthese kind of situations. If only she was more accepting with other things too...

"Great!" I said and typed a message back to Gakupo. I asked if we could meet at the usual place.

...

I headed to the park that was near his apartment. It was quite cold so I wrapped my scarf tighter around my face to keep all the warmth inside it. The dim lights around the park made it look like a warm and nice place, nicer than the cold streets I was walking on. It was surprisingly quiet.

Gakupo was standing under one of the lamps, and started walking towards me when he noticed me. He wrapped his arms around me, his heat warming my freezing body up.

"Hi" he said quietly and kissed the top of my head.

His voice sounded a littlebit coarse from all the talking he had done today.

"Come, you're freezing." He said and grabbed my hand, leading me towards his apartment. I followed him, my heart beating in my throat.

He closed the door behind us and lead me straight to his fireplace, bringing me a planket that I wrapped around me.

"Why are you still not using a warmer coat?" He asked and sat beside me.

"I didn't realise it is so cold outside during the night."

Gakupo laughed. "It's winter, of course it's going to be really cold, silly."

I smiled and made my way closer to him, he was so warm. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.  
"Oh, I almost forgot." He said and gently grabbed my chin. He turned my head so that I was facing him and looked at me in the eyes.

"Happy birthday!" He pressed his lips slowly against mine, deepening the kiss slowly. I kissed him back, tasting the sweet taste on his lips. He sneaked his tongue into my mouth, deepening the kiss even more, and moved his hand from my chin to my hair. He ruffled my hair and tangled his fingers between my blue strands, pulling me closer and kissing me deeper. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, completely forgetting about the blanket I had around me. It dropped down on the floor.

Gakupo pulled away slowly until the thin string of saliva connecting our mouths broke. He slowly stroked my hair and looked at me, looking at my flustered cheeks and my eyes that were begging for more.

"Are you.. feeling alright ..after yesterday?" He asked.

"Yes." I said. "I'm feeling amazing!"

"You are not regretting it?"

..why would I regret it? It was kind of embarracing, yes, but I'm fine with it. As long as it stays a secret from everyone I'm happy with it. I have nothing to regret. I wanted it.

"No, of course not, why would I?" I asked and looked at him, playing with his long hair.

"Good." He said and smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

I pushed him away.

"Why would I regret it?" I repeated the question.

"I just thought that maybe you started regretting it.. maybe it hurt you too much or you just felt discusted that it was me, a guy who is over ten years older than you are."

"Gakupo, I love you. I love you, so I could never regret something like that."

"I love you too..." he whispered into my ear and hugged me tight. "Let's just say that yesterday was my early birthday present for you."

"What? You're not going to give me anything today?" I said jokingly with a grin.

He looked at me and laughed. "No, I'm sorry. I'm way too tired. You saw how I was drowning in girls today, that shit is exchausting."

"But you are nice enought to do it, to make your fans happy!"

"I suppose you're right."

A littlebit later we went to his kitchen and he made me a cup of coffee. We sat at the table, talking. I could really hear his voice cracking slightly from time to time, and his eyes started drooping.

"You need to go to sleep!" I said. "And I should go home now aswell, I promised to be home before midnight."

"You're taking my coat." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Take it, it's even colder now than it was when you came, you'll freeze to death in yours."

I lowered my voice into a whisper: "They will notice it!"

"I don't think so. And besides, which one is worse, you dying because you have a way too thin coat, or them noticing that you have a different coat than the one you had when you left? You can always lie about it being your friend's, you know?" He walked past me to the front door and gave me his coat that was hanging near the door.

"That's true."

I took the coat and pulled it on. It was so nice and warm, and it smelled like Gakupo. It was a bit too big for me, the man was so freaking tall that he beat nearly everyone.

He gave me a soft kiss and ruffled my hair again before opening the door for me.

"Stay safe, and happy birthday again!" He said and closed the door, yawning. I smiled and headed off, walking through the park and along the now a little more crowded streets. The town really got more busy during the night but the evnings were quite nice and quiet.

I opened the door to our house and walked in. I really didn't want to take the coat off, it was so soft and warm.  
But I had to. I took it off and hung it, then I walked into the livingroom where the rest of my family was having a chat and watching television.

"Did you have fun?" My mother asked.

"Yes, very." I said and smiled, sitting down between Kaiko and Taito.

* * *

... Thank you for reading this 2nd chapter!

I will try my best and remember to publish the 3rd chapter next week.

(Also I just can't get over the fact that Taito is called Taito. And the reason is as stupid as the fact that "taito" means "skill" in my native language. I just find it funny. ...Taito is really skilled at annoying his little sister about stupid shit. Hahhah...)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my story!

Oh man, I feel like every time I write something where at least one of the characters is famous I write something like this chapter...

But anyways: please enjoy!

* * *

Damn those paparazzis and reporters who just say whatever they want. Damn them. I hate them.

I dropped my spoon on the table when I grabbed the magazine and noticed a huge picture on the cover. And it wasn't just any picture, there was Gakupo.

He was sitting in front of a restaurant with a girl. She looked pretty, and she seemed like she was enjoying her time with him. Gakupo himself sat his back towards the camera, clearly in the middle of saying something to the girl. And the picture wasn't the worst thing. No.

The worst thing was the huge headline above it that said "IS KAMUI-SAMA FINALLY SHOWING HIS LOVED ONE TO THE PUBLIC -INTENTIONALLY OR NOT?"

I opened the magazine from the given page in frustration and was greeted with another picture. It was taken from the girl's side of the table. Gakupo was smiling at her and holding her left hand in his hands.

And the article itself, it was just making assumptions about their relationship and possible marriage, indicated by the picture at the top of the page.

Well... who am I to say that they are just assumptions?

...

I'm his boyfriend, so I do not agree with this! If that fucker was cheating on me I will just beat him up in a way that he can't appear in public for a while.

It can't be. He said that he loved me...

Am I just overreacting? I should just call him and talk about this. Be calm and collected and not start making assumptions just like the damn reporters.

Kaiko leaned over my shoulder and read the artickle. "Wow, that's nice that he's been able to hide her for so long."

I snapped at her. "Do you believe everything you read? What if they are not even together?"

She looked at me with a guestioning look and sighed.  
"It's obvious. Look at the way he looks at her, look at the way he holds her hand! That is not how people who are not in some kind of a relationship act, Kaito!"

I looked at the picture again. I felt my tears trying to push their way out of my eyes, they burned so bad. Kaiko was right.  
I forced myself to eat all of my breakfast to not make my sister even more suspicious about my sudden snapping and change of attitude because of a mere singer. After I had eaten I disappeared into my room and took my phone. I found Gakupo's number and called him.

"Oh, good morning, Shion-san!" His manager said with a happy voice. She was aware that we knew each other, but she had no idea about our real relationship.

"Where's Gakupo?" I asked.

"He's in a meeting, I think he will get out of there after an hour or so, but then he has a recording. Why? Do you want me to pass him a message?"

"No, I'll just call him later then, thank you." I said, wiping away a tear drop that sneaked down my cheek. Of course he was busy _now_...

I can't believe that he would be cheating on me and planning to get married with someone after everything we have done. It had been less than a week since we had sex. Since he promised that he loved me. I don't believe that he could be like that, he seemed so nice.

Maybe the girl was just a friend or something and I'm just overreacting.

~3rd person view~

Gakupo was sitting in a small room with five other people, tapping his pen on the table and leaning his cheek against his palm. He was bored to death, he wasn't in the mood to think about these things. He was tired, he just wanted to get it over with and go to his recording. Well, if he had been in charge he would've just gone home straight away.  
He yawned and shifted his eyes from the person talking to the clock on the wall. Still 30 minutes. What bullshit. He was a singer, why did he have to be in the meetings thinking about the technical stuff of the company?

When he finally got out he met with his manager.

"You got a call." She said.

"I'm busy now, we have to get to the studio..."

"I know. I just wanted to tell you. Anyways, he said that he will call you again later."

"Wait." Gakupo said and stopped on his tracks, turning around to face the woman walking after him. "Who was it?"

"It was Kaito."

"I need to call him now!" Gakupo said and reached out his hand, asking for his phone.  
What if something was wrong with the boy? What if something had happened?

"No, you know you're busy, you just said it yourself too."

Gakupo stared at her for a short while and turned around, rushing to the studio so he could maybe get out of there a little earlier.

~Back to Kaito's POV~

I didn't know what to do for the whole day. There wasn't anything I really needed to do, so I just stayed in my room doing nothing. A few hours after I had tried to call Gakupo for the first time I decided to try calling him again. Maybe he was already back home, or getting out from his work soon.

My hand was shaking when I took my phone and searched for his number. I raised the phone up to my ear and tried to stop my hand from shaking by holding my wrist with my other hand.

After a while Gakupo answered. "Hi, Kaito! Sorry I didn't call you back when I got out of work I needed to cook..."

"It's okay... I... I just want to talk to you.." I said, my tears wanting to come out and creating a lump in my throat.

"Okay, go on." Gakupo said softly.

"Also I need to show you something." I said quickly. "Can I come over?"

"Sure. I'm cooking so I can't come to the park but I guess you know the way." He laughed.

"Okay, I'll come soon." I ended the call before crying. Why was it like this, why did I want to cry all the time...?

I went downstairs and grabbed Gakupo's coat. Yes, I had not seen him after my birthday so I didn't give it back. It still had his scent on it.

The coat was so big and had big pockets so I put the magazine into the pocket. Then I put on my shoes and placed my hand on the lock, ready to open the door.

"I'll be out for a while!" I shouted and opened the door.

"Be careful." My father said from the livingroom.

I walked to the park where we usually met and continued going towards Gakupo's apartment. Soon I saw the house in front of me. I walked to the door and knocked.

The pink haired girl from the picture opened the door for me.

I stared at her. I couldn't say anything, I just stared.

"Come in." She said with a soft voice and moved aside. "I think Gaku's waiting for you."

I walked into the apartment and found Gakupo in the kitchen.

"Hi!" He said and looked at me before facing the stove again. I walked right next to him.

"Umm.. who was she?" I whispered as quietly as I could do that the girl couldn't hear me. "Why is she here?" I wanted to shout at him for betraying me by letting a girl into his house. He looked at me weirdly.

"She's my sister. She is getting married soon so she came to live with me just to be closer to the wedding place. She lives quite far away."

It was like a big rock had been removed from my heart. She was his sister? Of course. They really did look similar when you think about it. Same kind of long, soft hair and slimilar blue eyes.

"So, was there something you wanted to talk about?" Gakupo asked.

"Ah! No, actually I just wanted to know who she is.."

"How did you know she was here?" Gakupo turned around and leaned against the counter.

"Well, you see," I took out the magazine and held it up in front of Gakupo's face. "You're kinda in the news right now."

Gakupo took the magazine and looked at the pictures. "That's what happens when I go out with a friend or just anyone, people start specualting things..."

"I know, I just haven't got used to it."

He put down the magazine and took a step closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me. "But don't worry, I could never cheat on you, I love you."

I know he does.. I know.

But deep inside me.. I'm scared. I'm scared of what will happen if someone finds out?

* * *

I'm sorry this was quite short. The next chapter will be longer. And again, thank you so much for enjoying my story, it means a lot to me that I actually write something that makes sense and is enjoyable! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Hello! I'm back! I am sorry that this took so long, I was busy with tests for the past few weeks. Anyways, thank you again for reading and enjoying my story, it means a lot! :D

* * *

The time for me to go to University was coming closer. I rented an apartment so that I'd have one ready when I actually started my new life as an University student, but I barely spent my time in there. A lot of my time went by in school and the rest I spent at Gakupo's place. My apartment was empty, I just had some of my clothes there but I never really bothered to go and get them. Gakupo lived so much closer to my school and obviously I enjoyed being with him more than sitting alone in a small and dark apartment nobody could be able to call 'home'. It was so small that I almost got anxious being in there. Really, how was I supposed to breathe?

Gakupo was kind enough to take me in. Or rather he dragged me away from my apartment telling me that it would be easier that way.

Obviously I still have to pay for my tiny kitchen, bedroom and bathroom, I can't just come out and say to my parents: "Oh by the way I'm living with Gakupo now." No. But I don't mind. It's not that much money anyways. It was the cheapest place I found and it is a good place to store some of my stuff so they are not just laying around Gakupo's place on the floor.

It was Saturday. The sun peeked through Gakupo's blinds and hit my eyelids. I shifted my position so that the sun wasn't shining at my eyes and tried to fall asleep again. I heard soft breathing from behind me. As I tried to turn around I realized that I couldn't move. Gakupo had his arm around me so tight that I could only turn my head a bit. His head was against my neck and his breathing tickled me. I sighed.

My hand was feeling numb, I needed to change my position. I took a hold of his arm and lifted it up, then turned to face him and placed the arm back on me. In the warmth of his chest I fell asleep again. I felt his breath on my forehead as I drifted off to sleep.

...

Finally it was time for my holiday. I was packing my things since my parents wanted me to come home. Gakupo wrapped his arms around me from behind and gently bit my neck.

"I have a few days off this week." he begun. "Do you want to go on a trip with me?" His soft voice tickled my ear.

I was supposed to go with my family... but of course I could always lie and say that Yuma had asked me to go on a holiday with him... or something.

"I will need to ask my parents. We were planning to go together."

"Kaito." He said seriously and turned me around so that I was facing him. He was so serious that he looked more like the 31 year old he was rather than the goofy little over 20 year old he usually seemed like. "Isn't it really difficult and exhausting for you to be like that, not being able to tell your parents about this?"

"It is but... I'm just too afraid. I don't know what they would think and what they will do."

"I can always come with you."

"I appreciate it but I'm just not ready for it yet."

Gakupo just stared at me with worrying eyes. He was worried about my mental health. Hiding big things like this wasn't easy. He understood this. He had to hide this same thing from a lot of people, avoid the topic in literally every interview and choose the people he hung out with very carefully.

"Don't worry, it'll just make you more tired." I said. He had been really in the need of a holiday for a while now so it was nice that his manager decided to give it to him.

He smiled slightly and pulled me into a tight hug, whispering to my ear that he just wanted us to be happy and not live in the fear of being caught together or something.

He thought that going on a holiday together would make us relax a little bit, although he would really pull attention to himself by going somewhere since he was well known almost everywhere. But I really wanted to go. I just felt bad since I was supposed to go with my family. Akaito and Taito were coming too, and they barely ever came with us anywhere these days.

I was lost in my thoughts when I felt Gakupo's lips against my own. "I ant you to come with me..." he said with a whining tone. "That's why I got my days off for the same week as you..."

I felt really bad now. Knowing his manager I guessed agreeing for this week hadn't been easy.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked and tangled my fingers into his hair. It was open and flowing freely down his back. I looked at him deep into his eyes. I decided that I would spend my holiday with him and hopefully my family would go on a trip like this someday. I just couldn't say no to Gakupo, knowing that he had planned this out.

"I will think of a nice place and call you later." he said and kissed me one last time, leaving me alone to pack the rest of my things. I pinched myself. It had became almost like habit for me, I had to make sure everything was actually real. Really, how was I in any way a guy who would get a guy like him? How?

I walked downstairs and saw him in the kitchen making coffee for himself. I took my coat and opened the door saying bye to him before leaving. I promised to be home at twelve and it was already half past eleven. I was in a hurry.

...

It was like a storm hit me when I stepped inside the house. My mother and sister practically attacked me with hugs when I had barely taken one step inside and we almost fell back out of the door on the stairs outside.

"WOOAAHHH!" I shouted and tried to grab the sides of the door to stay on my feet.

"Oh Kaito I missed you so much!" my mother said and kissed my cheek.

"How's living alone?" Kaiko asked smirking.

Alone. Ha. As if.

"Hello to you too. I missed you too, mom." I gently pushed her away so that I had room to get my luggage inside the house and close the door. "It was exiting but also kind of scary, I could barely sleep for the first couple of nights" I said to my sister. What a liar I was. On the first night I went to Gakupo's place and cuddled as close to him as I could, sleeping better than like... ever? I had slept in his warm embrace since then. I took my luggage and started walking towards my room after my mother had asked about five million more questions about my life alone in my own apartment. I didn't notice Kaiko following me, not until I was in my room and opening the zipper in my bag.

"Have you changed your perfume?" She suddenly asked from the doorway.

"What?"

"I know you heard me. You smelled strange."

I felt the blush forming on my cheeks but I did my best to fight against it. "Um.."

I could say yes, but it'd be really strange if I used the same old one again tomorrow. I was silently cursing Gakupo for hugging me so much right before I left but I couldn't really blame him. And I didn't do anything to stop it, so... I'm one to blame too. It's not like I don't like him hugging me, but my sister really pays attention to these tiny little details...

"You know I was just thinking that maybe you have gotten yourself a girlfriend and met with her before coming here so I thought I shouldn't think about it that much but.. then I realised that it was a man's perfume."

I was fucked.

"What are you two talking about?" I saw my brother's purple hair sticking out from behind my sister. He was looking at me curiously.

"Nothing too important for you." It seems like Kaiko still likes to argue about everything with Taito.

"Whose perfume are you talking about?" Taito demanded.

"Kaito's. He seems to have changed it."

"Eww you smelled him?" Taito getting into his childish mode. The mode he gets into every single time he argues with our little sister...

I don't know how on Earth I would've survived a day with these two on a trip, they found something to argue about everything and it was really getting annoying.

"Can you just stop! Do you even know how annoying it is that you argue about everything?" I felt their stares pierce through me.

"What are you getting so angry for? I just want to know did you change your perfume?"

"Why does it matter in the slightest?"

"Because it's weird that you have been using the same one for who knows how long and then suddenly you come home smelling like a stranger!"

I sighed. I didn't know what to do. If I told the truth it would turn into a scandal but if I lied Kaiko would notice it sooner or later and probably threaten me until I told her the truth. And I can't use Yuma all the time. He is my best friend but it's probably strange that every time I do something I bring him up or I tell that he did something. I just feel so wrong because I use him to get away with what I am actually doing. I haven't actually seen him anywhere else other than in school lately. I've been telling him that I have so much homework and that I really want to get better grades so I need to study. To my parents I've been telling that I am with him. And in reality I've just been cuddling with a man over ten years older than me. It's just wrong.

I took an awfully long time to think what I should say. No-one in my family will be able to trust me anymore if I told them that I've been totally lying to them about my whereabouts for over a year. If Yuma got to know he would be angry at me because I have not spent time with him and I've just been lying to him about everything.

Suddenly my phone started ringing in my pocket. Inside my coat. The coat I had been wearing but what was now hanging in the hall downstairs.

I ran out of the room rudely pushing my sister away, Taito was fast enough to move aside. "I'll take it!" I shouted when I noticed my mother searching for the phone through my pockets. I knew who it was. And I really didn't want my mother to see his name on the screen.

She held the phone in her hand, but luckily she had just found it and was frozen in place since I shouted at her. She gave the phone to me with a weird expression on her face that clearly said "why are you so worried about me answering your phone".

I grabbed the phone and yes, saw his name on the screen. As I answered I heard his voice saying "Hi love, I found a place where we can go!" Thank God it wasn't my mother who answered.

"Hello." I said. I walked back upstairs. "You nearly said that to my mother, so pleace tone it down a little. You can't be sure that it's me who answers, you know?"

He laughed. "Sorry, I was just exited."

"I don't want to offend you but sometimes I have difficulties remembering how old you actually are when you act like that."

"Thank you for reminding me that I am old and I should act in a certain way."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Anyway, I found a place which you will really like! You told me that you like a lot of cultural things, right? So I was thinking that maybe we should go and check out Kyoto?"

"Oh my god I've always wanted to go there!"

"Really? That's a relief!"

I walked to my room. Kaiko and Taito were still standing in front of my door. I just wanted to straight up curse them.

"Can we meet on.. Tuesday? I'll send the time to you later."

"Yeah, that sounds nice."

I ended the call and glared at Kaiko who was looking at me with suspicious eyes. "Who was that?" She asked and tilted her head to the side.

"None of your business."

They both stared at me.

"Kaito, what's wrong. You know you're acting weird all of a sudden? You've never been like that before." Taito said.

My sanity was starting to crack up. This was too much to keep in...

"It was.. I'm... I... I am not coming with you guys to the trip. I'm going with... uh.. the person who called me. I promised it already."

"Whaat? Was it Yuma again...?" Kaiko asked.

"No..."

"I think the real question here is when did you promise it to them? We have been planning this trip for months!" Taito asked.

"Toda~... Yesterday.."

"Oh fuck you, Kaito! That's not something you do! I don't care who it is! Have you realized what you've done!?" My sister's high pitched voice hit me like an arrow. She was almost crying.

"Yes."

"How can you do that?" Taito asked with a calmer tone.

"Because he specifically got a few days off now so that we could go on a trip together!" I shouted while my tears tried to burn their way out of my eyes.

My mother had come upstairs too after hearing my sister scream. Now she was standing in the doorway with her and Taito, listening to me quietly. I felt ashamed. One single tear rolled slowly down my cheek. I was lost. I just didn't know which one I really should've chosen. Gakupo.. or my family?


	5. Chapter 5

The athmosphere was not nice. I felt anxious sitting in the livingroom with everyone staring at me. We were waiting. I refused to tell anything and they wanted me to get the person I was talking about here. Actually I was relieved because I could get support from him. I told him everything as fast as I could in my message and he promised to come.

"If it's not Yuma, who is it?" My father asked.

"Why are you even promising to go on a trip with someone we do not know?" My mother asked.

"Do you think mom and dad would let you go with a strange person we know nothing about?" Akaito asked staring at me with his piercing red eyes.

"I'm 18. I have the right to choose~"

"But we have been planning this together for MONTHS!" Kaiko screamed.

"Calm the fuck down." Taito hissed at her. "Your voice gets irritating when you're angry."

"Is this person a friend of yours? From school, perhaps? Why are you so unwilling to tell anything about him?" My father asked calmly, sitting next to the window.

I looked behind him and saw a familiar black car stop in front of our house. He was finally here. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"He is... not a friend of mine. He is actually.. my.. my.. ..uh.." I paused. I closed my eyes.  
The next word left my mouth as nothing but a whisper. "..Boyfriend..."

I heard a knock from the front door. As I though, none of my family members actually heard what I said. Akaito looked at me, telling me to go and open the door. I left the horrible athmosphere, feeling their stares down my back.

"Thank god you came so fast.. I'm so scared to say anything alone.." I whispered as I opened the door. The man dressed in a long black coat and a huge hat smiled at me and hugged me. "I told you I'd be there with you."

I almost crushed his hand as we walked together into the livingroom. He was still wearing the coat and the hat since I couldn't wait for him to get them off. I just wanted to get this over with...

My mother stared at him, afraid, he was so tall and his face was not even visible from under the large hat.

"I'm really sorry about my appearance right now." He said and bowed taking off the hat. "Your son practiacally dragged me here, I barely had time to take off my shoes." He smiled gently at everyone in the room.

Akaito, Taito and Kaiko were staring at him with their mouths wide open. My father's forehead was full of wrinkles as he was part angry and part curious. My mother was just shocked, but also a bit lost. Where had she seen this person before..?

Akaito was the first one to get his mouth open. "So, you're saying that you know HIM? How? And could you explain a littlebit better, how exactly do you know each other?"

I shrugged under the pressure of their shocked stares.

"I think the explanation only needs four words. I am his boyfriend." Gakupo said calmly.

It was done. They knew. You'd think that everything would be fine and better now. That I wouldn't need to hide it anymore. But I knew this would happen...

"Excuse me!?"  
"What?"  
"How?  
"When?  
"Why?

"You're GAY?"

"So that's what the strange smell on you was.."

"Y-you.. you have..." my mother's voice was shaking as she pointed at us. She spoke directly at Gakupo: "You've held my son?"

"Kaito, do you realise how disrespectful that is to your family? Not only is he older than you, but A MAN?" my father said with clear disgust in his voice. My tears burned their way out from behind my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.

"Please tell me this is a joke." He continued. I wiped away a tear.

"Please tell ME that you have not done anything to my son! I don't care if you're a celebrity or not, I do not want my son the be held by a man!" My mother shouted still pointing her finger at Gakupo.

I cried more. My tears created fountains under my eyes as I cried.

Gakupo looked at me, he was in a difficult situation too. I just made his life worse too. He wiped away my tears. I breathed slower, tried to stop crying.

"So you..." my mother begun.

I fought against the urge to continue crying and forced the words out of my mouth. "Yes. I lost my virginity to him the day before my birthday!" I bursted in tears again.

My brothers and Kaiko were quietly looking at me. They seemed a little embarraced by the reaction from our parents, but they were also embarraced because of what I had just screamed at their faces.

"Mother. Father." Akaito quietly said. "Isn't the most important thing that he is happy? You know he would never be happy with anyone else. They've apparently been together for quite a while and can't you see that they really love each other? Nobody forced Kamui-san to come here. But he still came to support his lover. Can't you even try to understand?"

"It's discusting!" My mother spat out.

I buried my face into Gakupo's coat and felt his arm protectively on my shoulders.

"I cannot even imagine what your grandparents will say... but one thing is for sure. They will tell you to never step in their house again. And that's what I'm saying too. Pack your things. You can maybe come back when you've left that guy. But I don't know if I want you back." I heard my father saying coldly. He didn't even bother to look at me.

"Father!" Kaiko shouted in shock.

Taito sat quietly and stared.

I breathed a few times and got ready to speak.

"I don't care if you don't like me anymore. Atleast I still have a place I can go to, a place where I can be happy." I stormed out of the room pulling Gakupo after me. As we stepped on the stairs I started quietly crying again. "I'm so sorry... so, so sorry..."

"Don't worry. I know how you feel. My parents didn't accept me either when I came out to them. But when I became a succesful singer they were ready to accept me again just to get some of my money. I never went back to them... and I never will."

"But my parents... they shamed you.."

"As will everyone with that mindset they have."  
I took as much of my things with me from my room as I could. When we were ready to leave I saw Taito standing in the doorway with a sad expression on his face.

He walked closer and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." He said.

"You don't have to be, you did nothing."

"I still am. But I want to say congratulations for finding someone you love and someone who loves you. Please be happy."

"Thanks, I guess."

"I understand how hard it is to try and get the courage to tell such things to your parents when you know they will be like this..."

"How can you understand that?" There was no way he could understand what I had felt like for the past few years, being afraid of being seen or found out about. He was just sayinh it to try and make me feel better...

"Because I never had the courage to tell them. I adore you for being honest with them, and I feel bad for you because you got that response."

"Taito..." I gently pushed him a bit further and held his shoulders. I looked at him in the eyes.

"I know how you feel. I know what it feels like to have someone you love being shamed by your own parents. You were that person to me. Gakupo was that for you. And I can also understand the pain of being hated by your parents. They just didn't have any more energy to shame me since they already hated on you so much."

"What do you mean..?"

"You two gave me gourage, as hard as it was after seeing the way they react, to come out of the closet myself. I did it for you, Kaito. After seeing what they did for you I just couldn't continue living a lie, knowing that they like me just because they think I am "normal"."

I hugged him again, crying into his shirt. I had had no idea about this...

We walked downstairs together. Akaito was in the livingroom trying to talk actual sense into my parent's heads with apparently no result. Kaiko looked at us with teary eyes as we walked past the doorway and opened the front door. I gave Taito the key to the small apartment I had rented so he could go there for a few days before going back to his own home. We jumped in Gakupo's car and drove away, dropping Taito at the house and driving back to Gakupo's place after that.

...

We sat on his bed. He hugged me tight, allowing me to cry against his shoulder. I cried and cried. I was unable to stop.

I was desperate for something that made me feel better. His company was the cure for me, I wanted him to be closer. I pulled him closer to me, I tried to get as close to him as I ever could.  
His lips dried away my tears.

His hands surrounded me in warmth, protecting me and closing me away from the cruelty of the outside world.

His soft lips brushed against my skin, his breath left coolness against it sending shivers all around me. Something that had felt right but still wrong before was now the right thing. I knew it deep inside me. How could it be wrong?

My fingers got tangled in his hair, I pulled him closer. Our lips met, I tasted myself on his soft ones.  
It was like we were made to be like this. I never wanted to let go, I wanted to stay here, connected to him by every way possible, being sure of his love towards me.

His skin against mine, his hot lips trailing down my body, his strong arms holding me in his embrace. I felt no pain, just pleasure, and I never wanted to let go of it. I forgot all my worries, I forgot all the horrible things in life as he moved his hips, waves of pleasure going through my body every time he reached deep inside me, I believe he reached all the way to my heart. Atleast I felt the pain move away from my heart, the only thing left was just he. I heard his voice whispering in my ear, promising to never let me go. No matter how many people think it's wrong he would never let me go. He would be there unlike many others. He would love me.

My tears created streams on my cheeks, his teeth created small marks all over my skin. I would be his, no-one could say a word against it.

His love filled me completely with happiness until I couldn't take it anymore.

He hugged me tight, then wiped away my tears before laying down next to me, pulling me closer into his chest. My arms found their way around him and I buried my face in his chest continuing to cry. I couldn't stop the tears. They were just flowing down uncontrollably.

I cried more and more until my breathing got faster and more difficult.

He tried to calm me down but I couldn't. I cried louder, pulling him closer. I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to leave me now. I needed to be completely sure about it.

"Kaito, Kaito, calm down.." he whispered and gently pressed his lips against the top of my head. I was shaking in sync with my sobs, begging him to stay with me and never abandon me like my parents did.

He ran his fingers through my hair quietly. He stayed still continuing to comfort me until my violent shaking and loud crying calmed down into sharp breaths and small sobs. My eyelids relaxed but my eyes stayed closed. The crying and our time together before had made me tired and my eyes didn't want to open.

Gakupo continued rubbing my back with his thumb as I started to drift off into sleep. The last thing I remember before falling asleep was his guiet promise to always stay by my side, no matter what.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up when the sun hit my eyelids. I felt Gakupo's naked body against my back and his calm breathing hit my neck. His arm was tightly around me.

He woke up when I tried to turn around. He opened his eyes and looked into mine. He smiled tiredly.

"Morning." I said with a sore throat.

"Morning.." he whispered. "Your eyes are swollen."

I touched my eyes. I could feel it myself. Thanks to all the crying last night I probably looked horrible with red and swollen eyes and the dried streams of tears crossing all over my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I said turning my head away from him.

"Why are you apologizing? You have the right to feel sad and betrayed. And there's nothing wrong with having swollen eyes because of that."

"Thank you for being there for me."

"It's okay. I wish someone had been there supporting me like that when I was in that situation."

He wiped off a lonely tear that had sneaked down my cheek.

I turned over and kissed him. He looked shocked but soon his shock turned into a smile and he pulled me closer. He deepened our kiss and explored my moith with his tongue.

Then he let go and pushed me back down on the bed jumping over me. He stood up and lifted me up in his arms and carried me over to the bathroom. He let me down and started filling up the bath.

"Do you have work today?" I asked when I sat down on his lap in the warm water.

"Mmh.." he said nuzzling his nose against my neck. "I think so."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. Actually I do but it's just a band practice in the afternoon. Do you want to come with me?"

"Not necessarily. But I guess it would be nice since I really don't have anything else to do here."

I turned myself slightly and grabbed a strand of his hair rolling it around my finger. He got the idea and reached to grab the bottle of shampoo from the shelf giving it to me.

I took the bottle and turned around so that I was sitting on his lap facing towards him. I rubbed the shampoo in his hair making sure to give him a mustache with the foam in the process. He laughed and got some of the foam from on top of his head into his hands and rubbed it into my hair.

 **** let's just say this is a time skip of 5 months ****

It was the last concert of Gakupo's band's birthday tour. His band was ten years old already and they had a big world tour because of it. Gakupo dragged me with him around the world, he didn't want me to stay alone at home.

I was happy to see the world and visit other countries. I had fun with his band and their manager and it was interesting to see how many fans they really had all around the world.

But now we were back home after a long time, and the big stadion where I had seen him once before, on my 18th birthday, was full of people. They were excitedly cheering, hoping that the band would come on the stage for one last time before the show was over.

The band had changed the show for this last concert, and now Gakupo came on the stage for the last time surrounded by screaming fans and applauses. He was clearly laughing as he walked across the stage followed by his band members. He had changed his clothes and was now wearing a black suit with a purple shirt underneath it. His hair was on a beautiful high ponytail and it was closed with a black ribbon.

He took the microphone and started singing, his voice echoing around the stadion. I was sitting in the front row with his manager who was smiling slightly, looking at me at times. All the cheering had calmed down and all I could hear was his voice.

"That outfit looks nice." I said to his manager.

"Yes it does." She said and smiled. "It costed a ton but it suits him well."

I nodded and concentrated back at him and his beautiful singing. He had chosen to sing Magnet again. All my happy memories with him came back to me as he sang the familiar notes. I remembered him asking me to sing this song with me once. And I did it although I was afraid about my voice, I feared that it would sound horrible. We sang in the hotel room together while everyone else was somewhere. And he told me I wasn't bad at all. He wished to sing with me more. Then he kissed me and told me that this song was special for us.

The song ended almost too soon. He thanked the audience for coming and for supporting him and his band. All the members of the band came to him and greeted the audience aswell. Then they all were quiet for a moment, until Gakupo spoke again:  
"Before we go, I'd like to thank a special person who has been supporting us and especially me for the past few years. Of course I want to thank my manager for putting up with me for all this time, but most of all I want to thank the person sitting next to her. Kaito, is there any way you could get up here on the stage?"

My jaw dropped as I looked around. I heard the cheering getting louder.

Gakupo's manager smiled and gestured me to go. "Go through that door and then up the stairs." She said pointing at a small door on the side of the stage.

I walked through the backsage and appeared into the light on the stage. The lights nearly blinded me as I walked towards Gakupo's welcoming hand and stopped next to him.

"He is a very important person for me and I want everyone to know how much he and his support means to me." He spoke. Everyone quieted down to listen what he said.

He gave the microphone to one of his band members and kneeled down in front of me, pulling a small box from his back pocket. The audience broke into loud applauses and cheering as he reached the box towards me and opened it, revealing a simple but beautiful ring inside it.

I didn't hear anything over the cheering fans but I read his lips.

"Will you marry me?"

I covered my mouth with my hands and felt tears streaming down my cheeks again.

I dropped down on my knees, crying, and hugged him, repeating "yes I will" in his ears. I cried the tears of happiness, I was so happy that it's impossible to describe it with words.

We got up and he gave me the ring. He carefully put the ring on my ring finger and kissed me after doing so. I blushed and looked at the ring. It looked like one golden and one silver strand were twisted together creating a peautiful pattern. All the small holes between the loop had a small diamond in them. They were tiny but they shined beautifully in the light.

Gakupo took the microphone again.

"Thank you everyone for all your support! I love you!"

I looked up again and wipe awayd my tears. I was still shocked. It couldn't have been true!

No way..

He proposed to me..

In front of all these people... I felt anxious. All these people knew. The news will be all over it. But on the other had, what do I really have to hide? Nothing. I have nothing to hide, not anymore.

Gakupo kissed my cheek and gently walked me off the stage.

His manager ran to us.

"Congratulations! It went better than I expected!"

"Did you.. know about this?" I asked.

"Of course! We all were planning this for a long time. That's exactly why we got that suit for Gakupo in the first place."

I started crying again. "Oh my god.."

"I wanted to make sure you know that I meant it when I said that I'll stay by your side." Gakupo said and hugged me.

"Oh my god..." I sobbed.

"Kaito, it's a happy day, don't cry!" Gakupo's manager said and walked over to me.

"I'm so happy..." I cried. "Thank you..." I wrapped my arms around Gakupo. He looked down at me with happy eyes and smiled.

"You don't need to thank me. All I needed was you saying yes to me. That's enough of a thank you for me." He said and bent down to kiss me. He closed his eyes and brought his hands up into my hair.

"I love you."

...

* * *

 _The End_

Thank you very much for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed.


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